Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Mormon Football Plays



In honor of the beginning of football season...

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during meeting.
Draw Play - What the kids do with the program during Sacrament.
Half-time - Sunday School
Bench warmer - Those members who do not sing, pray, participate, or apparently do anything but just sit and warm the bench.
Backfield-in-Motion - People in the back of the Chapel going to the rest-room or water fountain during the meeting.
Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of tithing that should have been paid three weeks ago.
Two-minute Warning - The point at which the concluding speaker says, "In conclusion, I would like to bear my testimony" and you start to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant Replay - The speaker loses his notes and falls back on repeating what he just said.
Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the meeting goes into "overtime!".
Trap - You're called on to pray while you're dozing.
End Run - Getting out of church quick, before you have to speak to that long winded gossip.
Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation to skip Sunday School.
Sacked - Being asked to speak in Sacrament meeting before you can escape.
Blitz - The rush for the parking lot following the closing prayer on Fast Sunday.

1 comment:

The Farnsworth Family said...

This was so cute. Dave and I had a good laugh.